Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Blessed with Faith

Sometimes our faith looses its luster, it becomes dusty and when our love bucket is almost empty, our faith begins to fade.
For over a year now I felt like that. Unloved, discarded, as if the light that glowed inside me had been turned off. They say your eyes is the lens to your soul and I had seen this vision of hope and love in  many people after they have been baptized. Its a glow of enthusiasm, of joy and a true turn around from what they were before; but after a few years their light shuts off and they begin to fade away from the church, from their covenants and their commitment to follow the gospel in truth and knowledge.

  I had never felt this way before and since I had been in the church for 30 years now, I never thought this would ever happen to me.

Negative thoughts began to enter my mind towards others, unrighteous feelings towards people were slowly making me angry allowing darkness to enter. I was unaware of these feelings until after intensive prayer Heavenly Father took away my sunglasses and now I can see again.

  I asked God to enlighten my mind and cleanse my heart for these unrighteous thoughts and feelings had no place in my heart. Then it came to my mind like a bolt of lighting that I have been feeling lonely and depressed. I had also felt unworthy because I had not had a calling for over 8 years. I don't know if the last 2 Bishops thought I needed a break from any church duties, but I was not only ready to be asked to serve, I was ready to serve anywhere. 
 Heavenly Father heard me and  He knew just where He wanted me to serve and where I could build up my faith and testimony again.

The week before Christmas I received a phone call from a member of the Bishopric. After his loving gentle greeting I was extended the call to teach the 7 year old in primary. At first I questioned if I could teach in Primary again because after my 3 brain surgeries loud noises make my brain rattle causing incredible pain; but since I really wanted to be used in church in any calling,
I immediately said yes.

After being sustained, set apart and given my class manual packet from the primary first counselor, I drove home that day full of pure joy. I have served in primary now for 4 weeks and I am very thrilled to know I have more than a purpose to live each day...I live to teach my 12 students the gospel preparing them for baptism. They are the greatest kids ever and as I teach them I feel useful and alive again. My ttestimony has been re-strengthened.

1 comment:

  1. we all go through down periods-it's important to ask for help from above to understand what to do...carry on