Sunday, February 26, 2012

Prayer and Depression

I have been meditating and praying for good health.

For the passed 2 months I noticed that I've been slowly going into a state of depression, isolation and much crying. I don't know why but I think my illness is the main reason. 

  I have never experienced depression, nor have I ever been diagnosed with it, but I do know that not having a desire to do things at home, no desire to get up in the morning like I used to and no desire to socialize with others are all symptoms of depression.

My RA has destroyed my hands and feet for the past 5 years and now that washing dishes has become a difficult task for me, I am seeing myself deteriorate right before my eyes.  That is something I had never thought of happening but it is. I don't complain and I never talk about it but I must face the truth that I am getting worse day by day.

Today sitting in the Relief Society class,  I was on the burg of tears. The chair I have always sat on because of its comfort had been taken and I had to sit on another chair. This other chair was killing my back and buttocks and I was in much pain. I was praying for the meeting to finish but it never did.  My urgency to get up and walk was so great but I did not want to interrupt such a good lesson in progress. I sat there as much as I could but I finally grabbed my bag & scriptures and walked out the room.

The change from that bad chair to my car seat was an amazing change in pain level. It went from  a ten  to a two.  Since I experienced this today, I plan to buy a rocker just for me to sit in church.
 I can only fix my problem by buying a chair and that's just what I will have to do.

I will keep on praying and meditating to have God's spirit with me at all times and I pray that I can be able to care for myself until I can't no more...that will always be my greatest supplication to God..  


  1. that's not fun, we have many in our retirement branch with back problems. Some bring their own cushions or back supports...

  2. You have a good attitude. Depression is hard because it is so nebulous! Hugs!!!!