Sunday, February 26, 2012

Prayer and Depression




I have been meditating and praying for good health.

For the passed 2 months I noticed that I've been slowly going into a state of depression, isolation and much crying. I don't know why but I think my illness is the main reason. 

  I have never experienced depression, nor have I ever been diagnosed with it, but I do know that not having a desire to do things at home, no desire to get up in the morning like I used to and no desire to socialize with others are all symptoms of depression.

My RA has destroyed my hands and feet for the past 5 years and now that washing dishes has become a difficult task for me, I am seeing myself deteriorate right before my eyes.  That is something I had never thought of happening but it is. I don't complain and I never talk about it but I must face the truth that I am getting worse day by day.

Today sitting in the Relief Society class,  I was on the burg of tears. The chair I have always sat on because of its comfort had been taken and I had to sit on another chair. This other chair was killing my back and buttocks and I was in much pain. I was praying for the meeting to finish but it never did.  My urgency to get up and walk was so great but I did not want to interrupt such a good lesson in progress. I sat there as much as I could but I finally grabbed my bag & scriptures and walked out the room.

The change from that bad chair to my car seat was an amazing change in pain level. It went from  a ten  to a two.  Since I experienced this today, I plan to buy a rocker just for me to sit in church.
 I can only fix my problem by buying a chair and that's just what I will have to do.

I will keep on praying and meditating to have God's spirit with me at all times and I pray that I can be able to care for myself until I can't no more...that will always be my greatest supplication to God..  

2 comments:

  1. that's not fun, we have many in our retirement branch with back problems. Some bring their own cushions or back supports...

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  2. You have a good attitude. Depression is hard because it is so nebulous! Hugs!!!!

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