The Obituary for Common Sense

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Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has

been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his

birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

 

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing

when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life

isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

 

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more

than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are

in charge).

 

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but

overbearing regulations were set in place.

 

Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a

classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and

a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his

condition.

 

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job

they failed to do in disciplining their unruly children

 

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent

to administer a sun lotion to a student; but,

could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to

have an abortion.

 

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became

contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better

treatment than their victims.

 

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar

in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.

 

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to

realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her

lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

 

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his

wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is

survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame,

and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone.