Aging, A Constant Worry

 

When I was in my 20's I never thought about aging. I thought my pretty face and body was going to last forever. Now that I am 56, my body is starting to age, the gray hairs are emerging and the wrinkles are starting to appear. The thought of aging has not bothered me, but the thought of loneliness and who will care for me when I am old has bothered me more than ever before.

 

Lately I have been asking myself these questions: Who will care for me when I am old?  Will they bathe me twice a day like I have done for the past 40 years? Will I be in pain, sad, tearful, depressed and lonely when that moment comes? This critical thoughts are haunting my every moment. The thought of getting old is not my worry, the thought of being alone and unable to care for my self does worry me.

 

The photo above is of my aunt Felicia. She was blessed with 13 children. Her 4 daughters cater her every need and her 9 boys cater her too especially financially. She is the queen of the house. It is a great difference when you were not blessed with daughters. Sons are not as catering and often aware of your needs. Daughters tend to make sure your girly needs are always met which makes my aunt very happy. My aunt is very functional, she is still very active at the age of 85, she goes to the nail salon every two weeks, I keep her hair colored, cut and styled and that makes her very happy.

 

Getting old is a way of life, we all do and we will all die eventually...that doesn't bother me; but not having someone there to care for me when I get older worries me and that is something I need to prepare for and arrange soon.

 

I know these may be silly thoughts for some but after 50 your thoughts on aging becomes more real and less dorm it like they did when I was in my 20's.