Funny Missionary Story

 As I was going through some of my church files I found this great funny storyline in which I had to read and laugh out loud. I wanted to share it with everyone out there because it is a very funny observation.  I obtained this small story from a missionary that served in our ward over 28 years ago. I hope it makes you laugh.

The Mission President

1. Leaps tall buildings in a single bound.

2. Is more powerful than a locomotive.

3. Is faster than a speeding bullet.

4. Walks on water.

5. Talks with God.

Assistant to the President

1. Leaps short buildings in a single bound.

2. Is more powerful than a switch engine.

3. Just as fast as a speeding bullet.

4. Walks on water if the sea is calm.

5. Talks with God on special requests.

Zone Leaders

1. Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable wind.

2. Almost as powerful as a switch engine.

3. Faster than a speeding beebee.

4. Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool.

5. Occasionally addressed by God.

District Leader

1. Barely clears a hut.

2. Looses a tug a war with a switch engine.

3. Can fire a speeding bullet.

4. Swims well.

5. Receives inspiration.

Senior Companion

1. Makes high marks on walls while trying to leap tall buildings.

2. Is run over by a switch engine.

3. Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting injury.

4. Treads water.

5. Prays a lot.

Junior Companion

1. Climbs the wall.

2. Constantly rides the rails.

3. Plays Russian roulette.

4. Walks on ice.

5. Talks to animals.

Greenie

1. Runs into buildings.

2. Recognizes locomotives 2 out of 3.

3. Not issued ammunition.

4. Can stay afloat.

5. Talks to walls.

MTC Missionary

1. Falls over doorsteps while trying to enter tall buildings.

2. Says, "Look at the choo-choo".

3. Hits himself with a water pistol.

4. Plays in mud puddles.

5. Babbles to himself.

Retured Missionary

1. Lifts tall buildings and walks under them.

2. Picks locomotives off the tracks.

3. Catches speeding bullets in his teeth and eats them.

4. Freezes water with a single glance.

5. Thinks he is God!

Author Unknown.